Meeting an Innocent Stranger
In my teens I developed a prejudice so specific that only one woman ever triggered it. The incident happened 10 years later and took me totally by surprise. One day I met another white woman about my own age. I remember she said something highly offensive, like “Good morning” or “Hello.” She was a few inches shorter, with blond curls. Our encounter lasted only a minute or two. But a high level of anxiety and dislike flooded through me. I immediately wanted to get away from her. Luckily, I don’t think she realized what I was feeling.
Now normally I enjoy meeting new people. So my bad reaction to this particular woman stunned me. I remember thinking,
“What the Hell was THAT?”
Because my emotions were so intense. Yet I’d never met her before.
Fortunately, the Holy Spirit revealed what was going on deep down inside.
The Key to the Mystery
Soon an old set of memories surfaced. Turns out this woman strongly reminded me of someone from my past.
When I was 13 years old, 4 teenage girls at my school enjoyed a fun daily ritual; making me miserable. I tried avoiding that group, but most days I couldn’t. Once I entered High School, the bullying stopped. All of us scattered into different classes. But guess what? The mean ringleader of that gang? A curly-haired blond, a few inches shorter than me.
Unconsciously my mind learned the wrong lesson; that any woman who looked like her would be nasty, mean-spirited and cruel.
Totally untrue of course.
As soon as God’s sunlight shone in that darkened corner of my psyche, my prejudice against short, curly-headed, blond women who strongly resembled my former tormentor crumbled.
Even my 13-year-old self would have known such an assumption was silly and illogical. But that fear embedded itself in my emotional response, not my conscious mind.
A Simple Test
The word prejudice can be easily redefined as “pre-judging.” We are all very aware of other people unfairly judging us, but how do we keep our own hearts clean?
The Bible challenges us:
Above all else, guard your heart, for from it flows the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23 ISV)
This includes guarding our hearts from unknown prejudice against different groups. So here’s my checklist for heart health in this area. Because if any of these statements is true of me, then I’m already prejudiced.
My Five Point Checklist
1. Metaphorically, take a group of people, throw them all into an imaginary box, seal it and cover the outside with negative labels and accusations.
2. Refuse to see these people as individuals with unique life experiences, which causes each one to respond to events in their own way.
3. See all the people in this group as 100% bad. Their motives are always corrupt, greedy or selfish. No exceptions.
4. Have a strong inner urge to reject immediately any story about a person within the hated group who does anything good, kind, generous or admirable.
5. Become irritated when others speak up in the group’s defense—usually in response to the prejudice they clearly see in us.
The Evil of Bigotry is Growing
I’m not saying anything new. Before we can fight this sin in our own hearts we have to recognize it. I created “The Five Point Checklist” to help us. I also now regularly call on the Spirit of Truth to reveal any lies I’m believing.
Bigotry is
- Always invisible to the person who feels it.
- Celebrated by a person’s peer group, because they share it.
- An ugly offense against Jesus, who died for those same people
What’s the Cure?
Repentance. Acknowledge it as sin and ask the Holy Spirit’s help to change. There’s also a good way to keep our hearts clean and free from bigotry.
I now strive to see other people as unique individuals, rather than as members of a disliked group. And I’m committed to praying for the type of people I tend to become angriest at.
They are precious to God. So they need to be precious to me.
All images came from Pixabay.com.
