It is Inevitable
Last week I spoke about two commands the Lord gave us to short-circuit unforgiveness. In this sin-filled world, each of us will be wounded repeatedly throughout our lives. Jesus calls us to forgive our enemies. Why? Because it’s the only way we’ll heal.
But what if, like me, you have a hard time forgiving people?
Well, the two principles I shared in last week’s post and the two ones I’m sharing now will help us to disrupt or short-circuit unforgiveness. For me, the important thing is not to let my emotional injuries harden into concrete.
Here’s a personal example.
The Lawsuit
In the previous post, I mentioned a time when a Christian woman friend sued me after we were in a car accident together. I was the one driving and yes, it was my fault. Thankfully, it was a low-impact collision. But instead of filing a claim with my insurance company—she’d hurt her neck but didn’t tell me—she hired a lawyer and filed a lawsuit against me, seeking maximum damages.
I’d driven this woman places for years. I’d also blessed her financially and in many other ways. 
But none of it mattered. Only getting a pile of money did. Such a personal betrayal could have turned me into a bitter, revenge-filled, angry Christian. Unwilling to help or minister to anyone else, because I might get hurt again.
Why didn’t that happen?
Because I took positive steps to prevent it.
Principle #3: Return Good for Evil
21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you. (Proverbs 25:20-21 NIV)
Following this verse may be as simple as not badmouthing your enemy to other people.
My friend and I continued going to the same church. So I kept her lawsuit to myself. Right before the trial, My husband and I did tell the church elders quietly; we needed prayer.
Before and during the trial, I took the command of Proverbs 25 very seriously.
We didn’t retaliate or cause the church to choose sides. If she needed prayer from us, she got it. Strangely enough, there wasn’t any break in fellowship. My family had loved this woman for many years, so we let our love reign and treated her with kindness. I even continued to pick her up for church, mainly because she lived only 5 minutes from the worship center.
Principle #4: Remind Yourself of God’s Sovereignty.
I began declaring that the outcome of the trial wasn’t up to the jury, the lawyers, or even the judge. The Almighty alone would determine what was decided in that courtroom.
It was four years after the accident, before our case came to trial,.
Finally, the night before the jury reached their verdict, I surrendered the outcome to God in a much deeper way. It was a tough struggle.
Finally, I could honestly declare, “Whatever outcome You decree, Lord.”
My surrender included the possibility of my friend receiving a massive payout.
I left it 100% up to Him.
The jury read their verdict the next day. The award ended up being thousands of dollars less than the settlement the insurance company had offered her earlier.
Epilogue
A lawyer from the insurance company defended us in the lawsuit, so it didn’t cost us a dime. Even better, State Farm let us know before the trial that since we were cooperating, they would pay any damages awarded above and beyond what we were insured for.
This took a lot of pressure off us and State Farm gained a customer for life.
After the trial, I stopped giving this woman rides, much to her surprise. Why? Because I knew she’d sue me again, at the first opportunity.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to be foolish.
My Spiritual Point
When someone mistreats or abuses us, the healthiest thing we can do is to forgive. And the four principles I’ve outlined make forgiving much easier.
All images came from Pixabay.com.
Resources:
Heaping burning coals on someone’s head in Proverbs 25:21 sounds pretty painful. But it’s not. Instead it’s a blessing.
In ancient times when families came back a long journey, they returned home to a cold fireplace. So the travelers would go next door to borrow some fiery, red-hot coals, in order to re-start their cooking fire again.
